How much bad behaviour do I need to tolerate?

A question I often hear from managers is: ‘Am I expected to tolerate bad behaviour just because someone is neurodivergent?’

It’s an understandable question, particularly when a team member is experiencing emotional dysregulation, difficulties with impulse control or challenges linked to executive functioning.

The answer is no.

Neurodiversity is not an excuse for behaviour that negatively impacts others. Everyone deserves to work in an environment where they feel respected, safe and able to do their job.

But there is an important distinction between excusing behaviour and understanding behaviour. Neurodivergence can explain behaviour, but that doesn’t mean the impact of that behaviour should be ignored.

Understanding what is driving a behaviour allows managers to respond more effectively. A missed deadline, an emotional reaction in a meeting, avoiding certain tasks or becoming overwhelmed may not always be a sign of poor attitude or lack of commitment. Sometimes it is a sign that a person is struggling with a barrier that needs to be addressed.

This is where reasonable adjustments and good management come in.

For example, an employee who becomes overwhelmed under pressure may benefit from clearer expectations, earlier communication about changes or agreed strategies for managing difficult situations. Someone experiencing executive dysfunction may need support with prioritising, planning or breaking down tasks. That’s where workplace strategy coaching comes in.

At the same time, colleagues should not be expected to absorb the impact of harmful behaviour.

Someone may need support because they experience the world differently, but this person is still responsible for how their behaviour affects others.

Inclusive workplaces are not workplaces without boundaries. They are workplaces where people are given the support, clarity and opportunity to meet expectations, and where barriers that prevent people working at their best are removed.

The question isn’t about how much behaviour should be tolerated. It’s about what support people need and what barriers need to be removed so that everyone can thrive.