A better way to talk about support at work

Many managers want to support neurodivergent team members, but worry about saying the wrong thing.

The good news? Conversations about reasonable adjustments don’t need to feel awkward, personal or performance-driven. At their best, they’re simply good management.

Here’s a simple approach:

1. Assume competence

Start from the belief that the person is capable. The goal isn’t to ‘fix’ them. It’s to help them work at their best.

Try:
‘What helps you work at your best?’

‘How can I best support you?’

2. Frame support as your responsibility

Remove any sense that the employee has ‘failed’.

‘Part of my role is to check whether our ways of working are actually working for people. I wanted to see how things feel for you.’

Now it’s about the environment, not the individual.

3. Focus on energy, not struggle

Avoid:

‘You seem overwhelmed.’

‘Are you struggling?’

Instead ask:

‘Are there parts of your work that take more energy than they probably should?’

This question often opens the door to meaningful adjustments.

4. Normalise different working styles

People focus differently, communicate differently and process differently. Make it safe to say that.

‘People work well in different ways. I’m open to adjusting things if something would help.’

No disclosure required.

5. Invite experimentation

Don’t jump to permanent solutions.

‘Would you be open to trying a few small changes and seeing what helps?’

Adjustments are often trial and error – and needs change over time.

This isn’t about special treatment. It’s about creating environments where people can work at their best.

Small shifts in how managers start these conversations can make a significant difference, particularly for neurodivergent employees who may not feel safe asking outright.